I’d been thinking about attempting a VBAC delivery. Actually, no, we’d decided that a VBAC delivery was going to happen. I was torn between having a repeat c-section to avoid the trauma of birth (my first childbirth was just horrible) and going for VBAC delivery to avoid the healing time of major abdominal surgery. My husband’s desire to see his child come into the world instead of being behind a screen while a surgeon lifted our child out of my womb was the thing that put me in favor of trying a vaginal birth after c-section.
I’ve been reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. It’s supposed to be a wonderful book that’s empowering, educational, and encourages women to make their own birthing decisions rather than be bullied by medical establishment into doing things that are not necessarily in our best interests. (I mean, really, it would be nice if all doctors made decisions based on the welfare of the patient rather than concern about malpractice suits. But they don’t always, and I can’t blame them for wanting to protect themselves in an overly litigious society while they try to help someone else.)
There’s one thing that I wasn’t anticipating: pictures.
I don’t want to see exits. I really don’t. I know, childbirth is supposed to be beautiful, blah blah blah. But the biggest concern that I’d had about natural childbirth (or even a VBAC, for that matter) is my husband being anywhere below the waistline. I’m just not certain that him watching that closely when our kid exits would be favorable to our sex life in the future.
I mean, really, I don’t want us to be spending some, uh, “quality time” together only to have the mood ruined because he flashes back to our kid’s face looking at him as the exit is made.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I flipped through the book, found a photo of a baby being born sunny side up, and handed it to him. And then I told him that this was why I wanted him to stay above the waistline. And then he saw my point and realized why I was rather concerned about that.
Now I think he might be swinging back to being perfectly happy with a repeat cesarean. There’s no danger of him seeing more than he should that way. Either way, he finally understood what I’d been getting at when I told him I didn’t want him to be able to catch. And he’s thinking about things.
Did you have a vaginal birth? Where was your partner standing?